I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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