Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
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