God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
