Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
