what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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