i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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