Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
