Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize