i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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