I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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