last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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