What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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