I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
i think my cat just said my name.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
