he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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