k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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