I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
