i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
