pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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