I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
