i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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