I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
