what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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