So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
honey bunches of taint.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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