No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
