My brain says no but my pants say off.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
