Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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