She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
