You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
