And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
