I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
