Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
