I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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