how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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