So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I think people are normalizing furries
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
