whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
