Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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