just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
