i would punch a child for taco bell
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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