Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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