This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
