Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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