For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize