I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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