I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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