Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
