but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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