There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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