Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
