Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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