if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
