Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
