I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
