She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
