So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
