her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
