I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
