Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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