you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i out mim tonsoeep
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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