I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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