Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
