y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
