No awkward lesbian experiences without me
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
