Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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