Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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