I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
