before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
