but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
